Commitment

I never planned on staying in my house. For many reasons my house holds memories that are not very happy. We bought this house because I was 8 months pregnant with my second child, had a 12 month old, and the house we originally had put in an offer had fallen out of escrow. Oh, and we had already sold our house (which I loved). This house became available and had a large back yard so we bought it. My daughter never came home from the hospital. My first piece of mail was her death certificate. Max came home less than a year later, but within a few months we were separated and then divorced. I did a lot of crying in this house.

(When we bought the house in 2003)

I kept it to give the boys some stability after the divorce, but planned on selling this summer after I earned my Master's degree. With the market the way it is, there is no way I could sell and make what I need to even break even. Because I had planned on leaving, everything I did to the house was with my eyes on resale. I landscaped the backyard as therapy.

(This is what the backyard looked liked going into winter, same view)

And I never really committed to my vegetable garden. Until now.

(2003, so many chemicals - not even a trace of a weed)

I have posted many pics over the past couple of months of the tearing up of the side yard and the not so pretty (yet) new vegetable garden. I have also planted asparagus, which is a very long term commitment. I am thinking about fruit trees, and yesterday I bought 2 blackberry and 1 raspberry vines. Commitment is scary. What if I lose the house? What if it doesn't work out? Will it hurt more after I have put in so much time, effort and sweat?

(2006, it was pretty for a while!)

(the picket fence was rotten and took up too much space...)