Ryan in his new Ninja costume (didn't tell them they were pj's) from Chinatown.I spent the evening in my backyard watching my chickens. I tried to block out the weeds that need to be pulled, the humongous amount of work that needs to be done and the various kids’ toys, clothes and towels strewn about the backyard. I find sitting and watching my chickens eat bugs and scratch the ground is very soothing.
Tonight I had a difficult time being soothed. I had a meeting with my ex-husband this afternoon to discuss the direction we are going to take with our oldest son. We got his diagnosis last week, and the news wasn’t encouraging. I knew that he was having a lot of problems, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so complicated. As the psychologist said, “he has a long row to hoe…”
Part of this decision is whether or not to put him on meds. I can’t stand the thought and would do anything I could to stop this. Yet, I already have. I have taken him to a holistic doctor and chiropractor. I have completely changed his diet. He isn’t allowed to play video games. He stays outside, runs, plays, builds things and uses his creativity. We have tried behavioral modification…but the bottom line is his brain isn’t functioning the way it supposed too and this is having major ramifications for his self-esteem, confidence and ability to function.
I hurt so much for my son, but there is hope and we are pursuing it. Of course, my ex’s first response was how much was this going to cost which then turned into 45 minutes of him telling me to let my house foreclose, how I needed to get a better job, and that maybe I should only have the boys on the weekend, so I could work more.
I already barely contain it when they go to their dad’s, there is no way I would let them be raised by his nanny…I really don’t understand this man who I was married to, could possibly think that I would EVER let something like that happen. I will work when they are at school, and the nights they are at their dad’s. But I would sell everything I owned and find a room to rent before…
Sometimes life is very complicated and difficult to be soothed. I am trusting that everything will work out. I know it will. I know that sounds like I am trying to convince myself, but after walking through the last 7 years, I know I can face anything. I won’t always like it, and it doesn’t always turn out the way you expected…but, I will thrive where I’m planted – and so will my kids!
Tonight I had a difficult time being soothed. I had a meeting with my ex-husband this afternoon to discuss the direction we are going to take with our oldest son. We got his diagnosis last week, and the news wasn’t encouraging. I knew that he was having a lot of problems, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so complicated. As the psychologist said, “he has a long row to hoe…”
Part of this decision is whether or not to put him on meds. I can’t stand the thought and would do anything I could to stop this. Yet, I already have. I have taken him to a holistic doctor and chiropractor. I have completely changed his diet. He isn’t allowed to play video games. He stays outside, runs, plays, builds things and uses his creativity. We have tried behavioral modification…but the bottom line is his brain isn’t functioning the way it supposed too and this is having major ramifications for his self-esteem, confidence and ability to function.
I hurt so much for my son, but there is hope and we are pursuing it. Of course, my ex’s first response was how much was this going to cost which then turned into 45 minutes of him telling me to let my house foreclose, how I needed to get a better job, and that maybe I should only have the boys on the weekend, so I could work more.
I already barely contain it when they go to their dad’s, there is no way I would let them be raised by his nanny…I really don’t understand this man who I was married to, could possibly think that I would EVER let something like that happen. I will work when they are at school, and the nights they are at their dad’s. But I would sell everything I owned and find a room to rent before…
Sometimes life is very complicated and difficult to be soothed. I am trusting that everything will work out. I know it will. I know that sounds like I am trying to convince myself, but after walking through the last 7 years, I know I can face anything. I won’t always like it, and it doesn’t always turn out the way you expected…but, I will thrive where I’m planted – and so will my kids!
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