Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Glass half-full or half-empty?

I didn’t used to be a glass half-empty person. But recently I have had it pointed out by the two people in my life who know me best. Last night while talking with one of them, I mentioned that I have realized I have become the half-empty person and I didn’t like it. She replied by saying that I wasn’t a glass is half-empty person – no, I didn’t even have a glass and the water was running over the table and on the floor!

I didn’t realize my depression had gotten that bad. I knew I was depressed, but I guess it has gotten to the proportions that there is absolutely no hiding it and it is affecting those around me. I really try to be up around people. I can’t do it for long and then retreat back into my bedroom or backyard, but I thought I was hiding it fairly well. I don’t want to feel like this, but I know from experience that if I just push it down and pretend like everything’s fine – it will get worse. Sometimes life is good; and sometimes it sucks. Unfortunately, life really sucks right now for many reasons and the only way to get over it is to go through it.

There are some great things going on in my life right now too. I am graduating with my Master’s degree in less than two weeks.
I got a job!
Spring has hung around for more than a week, and I can still go outside without passing out from the heat!
My garden is still growing.
My chickens are laying (well two of them). My little chickens all lived to be teenagers. (If anyone has any ideas to keep my hens quiet in the morning, I would appreciate the tips. They baack, every morning around 6, REALLY LOUD. Since they are illegal, I don’t want a neighbor to report me and have to give them up.)
My ex-husband is continuing to pay family support.
I bought a fabulous dress for graduation at my favorite store.
I found a huge wind chime on clearance that is actually chiming!
My boys are beautiful, wonderful and sweet!
I am writing my last paper of graduate school!

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