First Day of School

So, I realize that I'm pretty late on these pictures, but I just haven't been in the mood to be on the computer lately...But here are pictures of the first day of school.

Ryan made it to second grade!!

Max started kindergarten...He's in afternoon kindergarten which means he has to eat lunch before he goes to school.

So, I told him we would go to a special lunch...he picked Target. He decided he wanted pizza and a slushy. The differences between my boys are huge! Ryan picks teppan yaki, and Max picks Target - go figure!

Goodbye Pre-School

My kids have been attending their pre-school for five years. So that is five years with the same teacher for me. The same person taking care of my kids when I couldn't. I love this woman! She knows everything about my life and my kid's lives. Although I didn't want my kids in pre-school (in fact I would home school them if I could), she has been absolutely wonderful.

Since Ryan has been in "regular" school for two years now, I have come to realize how special their pre-school really is. The elementary teachers in our school district do their jobs well; we live in one of the best school districts in the state. But our school district is incredibly competitive and they teach for the testing. I wont get started on my rant of why I absolutely hate our school district but I will really miss Ms. Leslie.

What kind of a gift do you get someone who has taken care of the most precious beings in your life for 5 years? And how do I not cry and get all weepy because my baby is going into kindergarten?

Glass half-full or half-empty?

I didn’t used to be a glass half-empty person. But recently I have had it pointed out by the two people in my life who know me best. Last night while talking with one of them, I mentioned that I have realized I have become the half-empty person and I didn’t like it. She replied by saying that I wasn’t a glass is half-empty person – no, I didn’t even have a glass and the water was running over the table and on the floor!

I didn’t realize my depression had gotten that bad. I knew I was depressed, but I guess it has gotten to the proportions that there is absolutely no hiding it and it is affecting those around me. I really try to be up around people. I can’t do it for long and then retreat back into my bedroom or backyard, but I thought I was hiding it fairly well. I don’t want to feel like this, but I know from experience that if I just push it down and pretend like everything’s fine – it will get worse. Sometimes life is good; and sometimes it sucks. Unfortunately, life really sucks right now for many reasons and the only way to get over it is to go through it.

There are some great things going on in my life right now too. I am graduating with my Master’s degree in less than two weeks.

I got a job!

Spring has hung around for more than a week, and I can still go outside without passing out from the heat!

My garden is still growing.

My chickens are laying (well two of them). My little chickens all lived to be teenagers. (If anyone has any ideas to keep my hens quiet in the morning, I would appreciate the tips. They baack, every morning around 6, REALLY LOUD. Since they are illegal, I don’t want a neighbor to report me and have to give them up.)

My ex-husband is continuing to pay family support.

I bought a fabulous dress for graduation at my favorite store.

I found a huge wind chime on clearance that is actually chiming!

My boys are beautiful, wonderful and sweet!

I am writing my last paper of graduate school!

Bad Day

Yesterday was a bad day for many reasons...In reality I have been having a lot of bad days lately, but after seveal in row things start to take on gigantic proportions. So after a long day, I am getting ready to take the boys to their dad's for the weekend, I realize that the boys have locked my keys in the car. Not that big a deal really. Just get my extra set...oh wait. Those are in the glovebox after Darrin's kids accidently locked the car with it running...I don't have AAA. I can't afford a locksmith. The dealership can make me a key for $3 that will only open the door. Great!!! That's all I need since I can see my keys...All they need is proof of valid registration. Wait, by law that is IN my car.

"Well, then ma'am, we can't help you."

"How am I suppossed to show you my registration if it is locked in my car, because BY LAW it has it be in there?"

"I don't know."

"Can I talk to your manager?"

"He's left for the night." Of course he has!

"Can I bring in my registration paperwork and proof of insurance?"

"No, it has to be a valid registration."

So, I call the other Honda dealership in town. I get a very nice man who actually understands the absurdity of the situation. He will work with me. I can bring in my registration paperwork, my proof of insurance and my drivers liscense...which is in my car. Okay, how about my passport? That'll work! Except my mom boxed up everything in my office when my sister and her family moved in a couple of weeks ago...and I have no idea where my current passport is...

"Will you be there in the morning?"

"No, but somebody will help you."

I sat on the kitchen floor and cried. Because it is just too much...and the odds of getting someone in the parts department who will understand and be willing to help me tomorrow are not that great.

So, tomorrow morning I am going to borrow my sister's car, drive to the dealership accross town with my registration paperwork, my insurance information, my old passport with my maiden name and a copy of my marriage certificate - because I know where those things are and I really can't afford a locksmith!

~~~~~

Because I am graduating in two weeks, I have to have all of my final papers and work in by Monday. This weekend the boys were supposed to be at their dad's...perfect for me! I can lock myself in my bedroom and type away. When I called him to see if he could pick them up instead of me dropping them off:

"Oh, didn't I tell you that I will be out of town this weekend for a marathon?"

"Nope."

"I'm sorry, I thought we talked about it already."

I plan my life very differently when I am alone. I don't cook. I was planning on having a brownie and a glass of milk for dinner and finish making my edits to my thesis...growing boys need dinner, and a bath, and attention from mommy that I absolutely love to give - it just doesn't get my homework done!

Oh, I also have a job interview tomorrow!!!

Graduating!!!

I have approximately three weeks left of graduate school! Yeah!!!!

You know that it is time to be done when your 7 year old looks at you and cries, “I wish you had never started school!” It’s hard to explain to them that I need to graduate in order to be legal to get paid. We need money to live. I wish we needed less money, but the market tanked and we can’t sell them house like I had planned…so I am trying to explain to them that I have to work more. But here’s the problem – they don’t want me to work more. And I don’t want to work more. So how do I make them feel better about something that I don’t feel good about myself?

Three weeks to graduation!!!

The last few weeks...

I have already fallen behind in my blogging aspirations...and only a month in! I have been trying to give myself grace in that this is not another thing that I MUST do, but something that helps keep in touch with my friends and a virtual scrapbook for my children. So, here goes...

The last few weeks have been a blur of activity around here. Not only have been I been furiously trying to get my papers and school work done for the semester, I am trying to start my thesis. The problem is that I am so burned out of school and feel like my brain has been deep fried. My placements have been more draining than I expected and I really hate having to have the boys in day care. I also have been trying to get started on my Christmas presents for the year. Although I think the Christmas presents are just one more way for me to procrastinate!

In children news, my baby, who is 4 and a half (and will constantly remind you if you left off the half) has requested that I take off his training wheels and he is now riding his bicycle. It's hard for me to admit that they are growing up so fast!

Although he did get a little scared when he finally realized that I had let him go for about the 50th time.

One of my chickens has started laying eggs!! Strange how the little things can you make me so happy. I love going out and finding a green egg in the nest. Now if I could just find where the other chickens are laying their eggs...they either have a very well hidden nest or one of them is an egg eater. After finding the last nest, they have stopped laying? And we have finally named the chickens. I decided that we could no longer try to describe them every time we were trying to talk about them - the big black one; the brown, eagle looking one; the tan, fluffy one. Their names are now (respectively) Mia (as she always disappears), Harriet, and Izzy.

We had a very fun pumpkin carving day where Ryan actually cut up his first pumpkin and did a fabulous job almost all by himself. Max drew out his design and insisted that it be cut out exactly as he drew.

He did take the pumpkin carver and make a few adjustments on his own as well!

I said earlier that I would write about a recent park trip. Well, while pushing Max on the swings, Ryan said, "Mom, it's like I'm flying!"

To which Max replied in song, "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky..." In the proper tune.

The thing is, where did he learn this song? And how does he constantly just crack me up?