Thursday, June 18, 2009

Being a Stay at Home Mom

I get to be a stay at home mom again! I have missed this so very much and am so glad that I get this opportunity this summer. I am no longer in school and my new job hasn't started yet. YIPEEEE!

I am absolutely loving the slower paced lifestyle. I would say that we can sleep in, but the boys don't understand the value of that yet. However, there is no rushing around in the morning trying to make breakfast and get everyone ready to get out the door, already late before we even get in the car. We don't have to even leave the house unless we want to. Yesterday we went to get chicken and cat food at the feed store. It was wonderful! I so look forward to the days that I don't go anywhere!

As much as I love being home, there are a few things that are a problem for me. One is that I cook three meals a day. That is not the problem - I love to cook (for the most part), and I cook really good food. The problem is that the kitchen is a mess at least three times a day. It doesn't matter how many times you do the dishes, they always need to be done again! And as I complain about this, I honestly know that this is not because it's summer, my kitchen always needs cleaning of some sort. After all, I have 7 or more people living in my house, and sometimes more...

The other problem is that it feeds into my isolationist tendencies. I have a difficult time making friends and forcing myself out of the house, or even to call people. I have belonged to a women's Bible Study for mother's of young children for going on five years now. These are women who I respect and admire. We all met and went to the park this morning and it was a lovely time. All the kids had a good time and I really, really enjoy hanging out with these women. But, I constantly feel like I am sticking my foot in my mouth. Well, honestly more like both feet and maybe some chin. Although, I got to hold a baby. It hurt and was so wonderful all at the same time!

It's hard for me to force myself out of my comfort zone, pick up the phone and invite someone over. Or invite myself over to their house. I wasn't the most liked kid growing up, in fact, I was the beat up kid who everyone made fun of...Curling up with a good book is what I have done most of my life! So, I am going to make a huge effort and force myself to make more connections! Just so I am being honest, here are some of my reasons why I don't just pick up the phone:

1. I feel like they don't really like me and are just being polite.

2. My house is always a mess. I am not the world's best housekeeper and think there are way too many more fun things to do and people to be with than have a perfectly kept house. However, I don't like people to see my lack of a clean house...vicious circle because in reality I am a perfectionist and want me house to be perfect.

3. I'm a single mom. I need the company most when I don't have my kids around - but that is usually family time and I feel bad asking to come over when families are having dinner and well - family time.

4. My boys are full-fledged boys. As much as I try to encourage their creativity, imagination and resourcefulness, not everybody appreciates or understands that boys are well, boisterous.

Ok, so here is my list of pathetic excuses and I will be working on them this summer...I will consider this personal growth time and invite someone over while there are still dishes in the sink and not try to frantically wash them before my guests come over!

After the park, I decided to splurge and took the boys to In-n-Out for lunch!

Yes, Ryan is in a Hulk costume. The only surprising thing about that, is that Max is not in costume!


Heidi said...

I've never heard you put your foot in your mouth! If anyone's done that, it's been me! BTW, your boys are gorgeous (just like mine, wink, wink).

Jenn said...

Thank you, I think they are pretty handsome! And your daughter is adorable. :)